Karaoke Etiquette - Are You Karaoke Microphone Ignorant?

I think there are rules of etiquette for karaoke. There are the Your-Mother-Taught-You-Better rules: don't heckle, always clap, don't diva, be polite to the KJ, don't cuss into the microphone, don't volunteer others, and don't abuse the equipment. And there are the less obvious rules: don't take drinks on stage, don't try to sneak extra turns, fill out the slips completely, don't come late and expect to sing, support the venue, don't try to perform a particular song "better" than the last singer, don't act like you own a particular song, and don't sit in the front row and ignore karaoke singers. We can all agree these rule would make a better karaoke world for everyone.

But what about the innocent mistakes? This last set of rules is the set I think people are just ignorant about. If you don't know how to use a microphone you need to be told the right way to use it. People often treat the DJ equipment the way they see the singer in their favorite rock band treat it. Or the way they see musicians portrayed in movies handle it. That's the wrong way. Rich and famous musicians can discard microphones like they are TicTacs because they get their sound equipment for free from sponsors. But the karaoke DJ doesn't get his or her microphones for free.

So here are some rules for handling the karaoke microphone you're handed. Remember, it's not yours. Although a "you break it you buy it" policy would go a long way toward correcting bad microphone manners and protecting the DJs equipment, I say!

1. Don't tap the microphone and say, "Is this thing on?" If you are compulsive and have to have a sound check because you just don't trust your KJ then say something harmless into the microphone like "check, check" or "testing" or "hi everyone."
2. Never drop or (heaven forbid) toss a microphone at the end of the song. Doing so almost definitely damages the little cartridge inside. This means a hassle-filled, expensive repair that the DJ must pay for out of his meager pay.
3. Never swing a microphone by the cord to punctuate your big finale. That's a great way to damage equipment and make the KJ homicidal.
4. Don't point a microphone at a live speaker because it makes a nasty feedback and can damage the speaker.
5. Do hold the microphone 1" to 6" away from your mouth and sing directly into it. But don't put your mouth on it. Ew, the microphones aren't sterilized before you sing or after!
6. Don't scream into a microphone. The DJ can adjust the sound of your voice with his/her equipment, so there is no need to get stupid about volume

Those are the in's and out's of karaoke microphone etiquette. Now you know, so you can respect the DJ's equipment and endear yourself to them. You might find that treating the equipment well gets you access to better equipment. I know several DJs who have two sets of microphones - the junk they hand out to untrustworthy (and drunken) karaoke singers and the REALLY good microphones they give to knowledgeable, respectful singers. Once you've had that quality microphone in your hand, you'll never want to go back!